Bored and booby

I said sayonara to my bf this morning as he left for a boys trip. 4 days and I’m absolutely dreading it. I finished my classes at around 3:30 this afternoon and had convinced myself I had enough food and entertainment to keep me both occupied and satisfied. I was wrong. I feel like a nervous wreck and all I want is for him to come home. Like a needy little dog. I’m so embarrassed and honestly a bit shocked – I really thought I’d enjoy the alone time but the second he left I just wanted it to be over. It doesn’t help that I’m super hormonal and have a period incoming in 5 days. My boobs feel like bowling balls and I’ve swelled to twice my normal size. As if I don’t feel pathetic enough! So now I’m bored, binged out, bitchy and bloated and feeling VERY needy. I can’t help but think about all the stuff he’s getting up to, all the fun he’s having – and I feel like a bad person for saying this but the fact that he’s having it without me makes me furious!!! I can be a bit of a controlling cow and it really rears its ugly head when we’re apart. I haven’t been able to really self soothe today; but I can feel my eyelids getting pretty heavy now, so I think I’ll take advantage of that and try and get some sleep before I psych myself out again. If all else fails at least I have some diazepam I found that may be of use.